Once again, I am all kinds of confused with titles and episode numbers. Maybe I need to stop multi-tasking, lol. I think I’ve got it sorted, now….but I reserve the right to get it all screwed up again later this season.
Okay, so we open on the stormy streets of Storybrooke. A saucy-looking Regina crashes the Bad Girls Club meeting at Granny’s. Granny won’t even serve them and yet somehow they’ve managed to take over her joint as their clubhouse? Regina confronts the villains and says she wants in on whatever they’re planning, and throws back a shot to prove she’s soooooo evil.
Flashback to the Enchanted Forest, where Regina is hating on young Snow White and yelling at Rumpelstiltskin for not helping her learn magic quickly enough. She’s got a copy of Maleficent’s spell book that she took from Cora, but Rumple’s not too impressed. He says Maleficent is only as powerful as she is because she’s put in the time to learn and cultivate her skills, and impresses her with a view of a tree that has been burning for years due to Maleficent’s magic. Regina doubts him, so he magics her off to an encounter with Mal.
The Charmings break the news to Emma that Regina is going undercover to infiltrate the Bad Girls Club, and Emma is pissed that they didn’t tell her ahead of time. David confesses that Regina was supposed to check in with them an hour before. Regina can’t, though, because she’s stuck in the de Vil mobile, on her way to a loyalty test. She’s in the middle of asking them how two doofuses like Cruella and Ursula managed to resurrect Maleficent when Cruella stops the car right in the path of an approaching train. In a ridiculous game of chicken, the one who saves them from being destroyed by the train is the loser. Of course Regina breaks first, and poofs them off the tracks, but recovers nicely by suggesting they go find some “real” trouble.
Henry is still examining the illustration August removed from the book. Belle brings him a donut, but, oddly, the queen of research does not seem too interested in helping him.
Oh, so apparently the Bad Girls Club was meeting in Granny’s on the down-low, and Granny’s not too happy about the empty liquor bottles. Emma and Hook are out looking for Regina, and Emma is super-freaked out, in an almost over the top way, that Regina is nowhere to be found. She’s not really lost, though, as she has yet another secret rendezvous with the Charmings. She looks totes hungover, and there’s a burned out Sheriff’s car nearby…..clearly the girls had a big night out. Regina tells them that the ladies are hiding something super powerful, but she doesn’t know what it is yet. So. How long to they think they are going to be able to hide all of this from Emma??
Young Regina approaches Maleficent at her home in the Enchanted Forest and supplicates herself, asking if Mal will teach her. Maleficent looks totally strung out, by the way, and laughs at Regina’s confusion. Regina asks what happened to her, and it would seem the whole Sleeping Beauty debacle really took the wind out of her sails. She tells Regina to get lost.
The Bad Girls check in with Mr. Gold, who is interested to hear that they’ve been spending time with Regina. He wonders which side Regina will ultimately pick.
In the Enchanted Forest, Regina is walking home to her castle, when a gentleman stops and asks her if she needs a ride. Turns out he’s on his way to Aurora’s wedding (and Aurora is apparently the daughter of Briar Rose? That’s a weird twist, I thought they were one and the same). She takes the news back to Maleficent, outraged that a whole new generation is getting their happy endings and the villains still suffer. Maleficent finally confesses that she can’t become a dragon any more, she lost her fire. Regina says she wants to help her get it back.
Regina is in her vault cleaning up the empties from the previous night’s debauchery when Mal arrives bearing aspirin and what seems to be an overture of friendship. She reveals to Regina that they are looking for the Author too, and tells her that Regina will have better luck finding him if she sticks with the villains. But she gives Regina a job to do before she’ll fully let her into their circle of trust.
Regina meets the Charmings in the library, but I guess they decided it was time to include Emma, because she and Hook are there too. Regina tells them the villains are looking for the Author too, and Emma says she’s going to be Regina’s back-up. Cut to Regina waiting on the street corner with Emma not so discreetly parked across the street, when the de Vil mobile pulls up, driving itself. Maleficent appears, and tells Regina to get in the car.
Belle and Will are having dessert at Granny’s when Hook interrupts them. They are still doing their alpha male pissing contest bit, but Hook is really there to update Belle on the villain situation. Hook thinks the witches are after the Dark One’s dagger, and tells Belle that he suspects they might lure Gold back to town. He wants to move the dagger to a better hiding place, and says he’s the one to do it, pirates and their buried treasure and all that. Is it me, or is Hook acting slightly suspicious? Not that I mind….I’d go to the dark side for Killian.
Emma follows Regina and Maleficent to Marco/Gepetto’s house. Maleficent says Pinocchio has info, in fact, he IS the magical object they are looking for, and Regina wasn’t tough enough with him. She tells Regina that if she’s really on the side of evil, she’ll go kidnap Pinocchio.
Enchanted Forest Regina tells Maleficent that the tree is still burning, and that she can recapture her dragon fire from it. Maleficent is skeptical, but Regina is surprisingly forceful and drags her off to the tree. Maleficent inhales all the fire, and as she recovers, King Stefan approaches on horseback to warn her off trying to mess with Aurora. Maleficent tries to turn into the dragon, but fails.
Regina enters Marco’s workshop where he and Pinocchio are building a rocking horse, and casts a sleeping spell on them. Just as she’s about to snatch the kid, Emma comes in and tries to talk Regina out of it. Emma starts blabbing on about her stupid superpower, so I stopped listening for a little bit, but ultimately Regina grabs the kid and delivers him to Maleficent, who seems very pleased. Emma gave her a phone, I guess to track her with GPS, but Regina discards it.
King Stefan and his men are escorting the captured Regina and Maleficent to his dungeon, presumably, when Regina gets out of her bonds and starts throwing fireballs. Apparently that was all Maleficent needed to get her dragon on, and they make their escape. Maleficent pays Aurora a visit and tells her she plans to curse Prince Phillip, and puts a sleeping curse on Aurora. She thanks Regina for helping her.
Hook and Belle are out in the rain getting ready to bury the dagger, when Belle confesses she has a terrible feeling that Gold has already returned to town. She’s worried that if she buries the dagger, she has no protection against him. Hook says, well, if he’s here, use the dagger to summon him. She does, and no Gold appears. She leaves Hook with the dagger, and don’t you know it, but it WASN’T HOOK AT ALL, but Gold in disguise. What a clever, clever Dark One. I KNEW Hook was acting suspiciously!!
Fake Hook pays another visit to Belle, and acts super creepy, asking her for a vow to not tell anyone what they did with the dagger. He asks her about her relationship with Will, and she says she’s enjoying herself, but she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be over Rumple. She asks Fake Hook what happened between him and Will, and Gold says “Let’s just say….he took something I cared for.” Poor, poor Gold He’s so evil, but so likable, I hate to see him heartbroken over dopey Belle.
Regina tells Rumpelstiltskin that is satisfied with his teaching, after all. As she puts a sleeping curse on Snow’s horse. Long live the Evil Queen.
Maleficent takes Regina to Gold’s cabin, and he reveals himself to her. If she’s shocked, she hides it well. Cruella carries Pinocchio in, and Regina asks what they plan to do with him. Gold says Pinocchio can’t remember anything, and turns him back into August so that they can torture him to get the info about the Author that they are convinced he has.
So, this was a great episode, if only for the shock of seeing Hook turn into Gold. Loved it! Regina definitely has her work cut out for her, if she thinks she’s going to continue working with the villains and yet somehow not give in and go evil again herself…which I’m not actually sure is possible. Or preferable. Evil Regina is a delicious character, I wouldn’t mind having her back, at all. And really, REALLY, next episode, the one that’s really going to be called “Poor Unfortunate Soul,” should feature even more Hook, so that’s good news.
I’m really confused about the whole Briar Rose/Aurora thing, though. I hope that gets explained a little better….or did I just miss something completely? Feel free to tell me if you know what’s up!