The Disney Driven Life

Community Blog for Neurotic Disney People

GRAMMY’S A “GO”

Grammy is my mother who lives in South Florida where I was raised.  She and I have a long, difficult history.  While I am a Neurotic Disney Mom (NDM), Grammy is just a Neurotic Mom (NM).  It is the “Disney” element that makes one’s neurosis an endearing quality rather than an unbearable one.  For this reason, NDMs and NMs are worlds apart and often clash.

This has always been the case for Grammy and me.  But when I conceived my first little mouseketeer, I decided it was time to send all the hard feelings off to Never Land.  Since that time I have done my best to endure the onslaught of guilt-inducing jabs as well as passively resist the attempts at manipulation and overlook the odd behaviors that make Grammy who she is.  I find I am mildly successful at this as long as my contact with Grammy is brief and infrequent.

Inviting her on a WDW trip in such close quarters will be a test of every NDM fiber in my body.  Due to the difficult and uncomfortable situations that arise in Grammy’s presence, I almost didn’t invite her to my wedding.  The notion that I would invite her on my 10^th  anniversary trip never entered my worst nightmare.  But here I am–about to do that very thing–and I’m actually praying she will accept the invitation.  For the first time in my life it occurs to me that maybe my obsession with Disney is over the top.  But it is what it is, and there’s no turning back.

“Hello, Grammy,” I greet my mother on the phone.  “Well, hello,” she returns, “What are you up to?”  I use this as a springboard for my persuasive proposition.  I know this will be a bit of a hard sell.  Grammy is famous for her frugality.  When Grammy does stay on Disney property, she is an All-Star Resorts kind of girl.  It is certain that she has never ponied up this much money just for accommodations, but I have a few things working in my favor.

The first thing is that my children and husband are my travel companions.  As difficult as my relationship with Grammy has been, I give her credit for the way she loves her grandchildren and son-in-law.  Over the years, I have been astounded at the way she melts around them and the hurdles she will jump for them while she throws me a back-handed compliment like, “It’s just amazing that you’ve actually managed so well for yourself in life.”

The second thing is that Grammy hasn’t seen our family in two years due to the fact that we have been unable to travel.  This has greatly bothered her.  It is obvious that the interstate goes both ways and that my family has had serious circumstances prevent its run down it.  But Grammy feels that her excuses for not making the long-distance trip are more valid than ours; therefore, a reunion has been impossible.  Now that our family will be within three hours of her home, I know that Grammy will find it difficult to resist meeting us.

The final thing working in my favor is that Grammy is slightly inclined to loosen her purse strings for Disney.  Because she is not a NDM, this truth puzzles me somewhat.  Perhaps it relates to the fact that during all our dysfunctional years, everything seemed OK whenever we were at Disney.  But no matter the reason, it still remains that–on occasion–Grammy has thrown financial caution to the wind in order to find the family magic that happens at Disney.

“Well, what do you think,” I inquire.  Grammy hesitates slightly and says, “Hmmmm . . . . it has been a very difficult year as far as money is concerned.  Do you know how much the cost of homeowner’s insurance is now?  Why don’t you just come and stay at my house for a week?  You never visit me anymore.  I miss your family terribly.  I think about the children every day, and DH is long overdue in getting treated to my brownies.”  I roll my eyes as I listen to the guilt-laden remarks.  Being only a NM, she is missing the point ENTIRELY!

“There are a couple reasons we can’t do that, ” I gently explain.  “First, we need to run the kitchen.  There is no way we can do that at your house without completely displacing you.  I can’t displace you in your own home.  Doing that is awkward for everyone.  But also, this is our anniversary trip.  A visit to your home would be lovely, but it isn’t very anniversary-ish.  Being at Disney is the ‘anniversary’ part.”  Grammy petitions, “There are plenty of places that you could go to near here.  Why, a very nice b-b-q restaurant just opened the other week.  It would be very special for an anniversary dinner.”  I take a moment to envision greasy fingers and b-b-q sauce dribbling down my chin as a way of commemorating this special milestone in my life.  The thought makes me cringe.  Following that is a vision of engaging in intimate anniversary activities under my mother’s roof.  I am further thrown into the hee-bee-jee-bee zone, and I know that I cannot discuss this with Grammy anymore.

In an attempt to get our focus back in place, I toss Grammy the one bone that should seal the deal.  “You know, we will have two bedrooms at the resort, so there is room for another person.  You could bring Buddy.  Wouldn’t he just love a trip like this,” I suppose.  Buddy is my sister’s oldest son and Grammy’s favored grandchild.  He is the recipient of an unending stream of special attention and gifts from Grammy.  If giving Grammy the chance to lavish Buddy with the vacation of his dreams doesn’t clench it, then nothing will.  But just as I predict, Grammy agrees that a WDW trip of this magnitude cannot be passed up.

“Wonderful,” I exclaim.  “I’ll send you an e-mail with all the resort information.  You are going to love this place.  It’s beautiful!  And Buddy is going to have more fun than he’s ever had before.  DD7 and DS5 are going to be so happy that you both are coming.  Just think about it.  We’re all going to have a great time.”  Grammy concurs with this declaration.  I can hear the enthusiasm beginning to break through now that she has made her decision.

We hang up the phone, and I marvel at what just took place.  Somehow I had a conversation with my mom that was only mildly irritating.  More than that, it ended with me feeling grateful for her and even slightly excited about seeing her soon.  How is it that Disney can do this for families?  The reality is mind-boggling.

As I search for Bill’s number to secure our now DEFINITE reservation, I feel a mixture of warmth, giddiness and peace.  Finally, the pixie dust has fallen on me and mine.  We are headed to the place where dreams do come true.  Let the planning begin!

*for information about renting Disney Vacation Club points contact NDM#1 at ndm1@thedisneydrivenlife.com

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The last few days have been spent gathering my thoughts. I have acquired three WDW vacation packages that meet our needs, but it is yet to be decided whether they meet our budget. Joel will be the one to deliver the verdict on that. Since his lack-lustre mentality in regard to Disney does not incline him to favor “border-line” budget breakers, I am a bit fretful.

So, much like a lawyer preparing a case for court, I organize myself. NDMs don’t excel in rational behavior once Disney enters the scene. However, I do my best to develop a reasonable opening argument, various supportive points that exude logic, and a climatic closing speech that would appeal to my sensible accountant spouse. My presentation is solid. But not being one to leave any Disney stone unturned, I run to my mirror and practice giving irresistible glances with my big Bambi eyes. It’s just got to work.

In the evening, Joel is in a jovial mood. I quickly collect my papers from Bill, briefly review my prepared case, freshen my lipstick and put on my best push-up bra. The retired tune from Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress is my fight song in this crusade. So as I approach the room where DH is reviewing ESPN news, I softly sing, “Now is the time. Now is the best time” to psych myself up.

In an attempt to get on Joel’s good side, I inquire, “Oh! Good! ESPN!” Joel turns to me with a suspicious look. He is no fool. I am a NDM who never shows any interest in sports, so Joel’s expression communicates that he thinks I’m up to something. Catching his doubtful glance, I realize I may have betrayed my manipulative motive. Quickly backtracking to save the amiable atmosphere I remark, “Well, you know they are affiliated with Disney. There is even the ESPN Club on The Boardwalk. It’s a sports bar and grill. You’d love it.” With this Joel is able to make the connection to my supposed interest, and he relaxes once more as he resumes his review of sports.

“Speaking of Disney,” I gently breach the subject, “I think I may have found a way for us to go.” Joel looks at me curiously. I have his full attention. It is here that I segue into my eloquent presentation with the passion of an Orlando lovebug in June.

Joel is impressed. He takes my prized papers and pulls up our budget analysis on the computer. As his eyes run across the numbers on the screen, his fingers begin a flurry of activity on his adding machine. He is brilliant when it comes to manipulating accounts to accommodate certain expenses, but there is a fine line of irresponsibility that Joel never crosses. “This one won’t work,” Joel matter-of-factly remarks as he hands me back the papers for the first vacation package.

I feel my spirit deflate slightly, but my hope is not lost. There are still two more packages to consider. The tension builds as I stand in silence. Only the clicking of the adding machine and the loud beating of my heart can be heard. “Nope,” Joel states and hands me the second set of papers.

I am holding my breath now. This is my last option. Tears begin to well up in my eyes as I prepare myself for the reality of a Disney-less anniversary. If he says “no,” I fear my heart will stop beating. I glance at the phone base to see if the cordless is nearby in the event that Joel has to call 911.

“Now wait a minute,” he says. My eyes widen, and I bite my lip as I wait on pins and needles for Joel’s next words. “This one is a possibility,” he reveals with a clever smile. In an inquisitive tone I squeal, “It is?” “Yes,” he replies, “but not exactly in the way you suppose.”

From there he explains that the 2-bedroom villa in Disney’s Old Key West Resort can host eight people and a child under three. Since our youngest is two, our villa has room for four more people. Joel’s calculations are accurate, and I anticipate where he is going with this. “So we have room for another family,” I conclude. Joel nods in agreement. “And we can afford the 2-bedroom villa for the week if we split the cost with another family,” I state with slight uncertainty. Joel nods again, this time with a twinkle in his eye. “Therefore if I find another family to go with us and split the cost, you are giving me approval to secure the reservation,” I ask with all the hope I can muster. Joel meets my question with a definitive, “Yep.”

Overpowering my desire to remain composed, a shrill scream escapes my throat. I begin running around the room like the manic muppet, Animal, blubbering unintelligible nonsense and wildly flailing my arms. Margeaux, Miller, and Elle come running from the playroom where they have been occupied all this time. As they view their NDM in her moment of lunancy, they look to Joel for an explanation. But I cease my frantic behavior, run up to my concerned young ones and announce, “We are going to Walt Disney World!”

Just as I am about to lead my excited troop in our own private victory parade around the room, the voice of reason interrupts. “Hold on,” Joel interjects, “We can only go there if we find another family to split the cost.” Oh! I had forgotten that minor detail. In the excitement of having a package pass budgetary limitations, this last hurdle had temporarily slipped from notice.

The children look to me for a response. Now that they have been informed of a potential WDW vacation, their expressions display angst. Suddenly, I feel my body temperature rise. There is a new sense of pressure. As I tweak the nose of each budding Disneyphile, I reassure them. “Don’t you worry. Your NDM is going to get you there.” They breathe a collective sigh of relief and return to the toys that previously held their attention.

My thoughts begin to compile a list of vacation partners. This situation is brimming with possibilities. I acknowledge our invitation will have to be extended with care since we will be sharing accommodations. The right partners give chance for an enhanced vacation like we’ve never had before. However, the wrong partners could destroy this dream escapade that I’m in the process of realizing. It is something that needs heavy consideration, but I reason that it is a consideration for tomorrow. Right now I intend to pop in a good Disney movie and revel in the accomplishments of the evening.

*for information about renting Disney Vacation Club points, contact NDM#1 at ndm1@thedisneydrivenlife.com

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BILL KNOWS DISNEY

I have spent the last few weeks doing two things.  The first thing I’ve done is consistently run into dead ends.  No matter how I turn it, DH informs me that the small amount of money we’ve put aside will not cover the accommodations we need.  The second thing I have done is compulsively view every last item in our extensive, free Disney Vacation Planning DVD library.  I know that I must keep fighting the good fight, and the DVDs—which do an incredible job of creating WDW lust—provide me with the motivation I need to press on.

The DVDs make it clear that there really is only one type of accommodation for us—a Disney Vacation Club (DVC) villa.  They have room for our family of five.  They have fully equipped kitchens.  They are on property.  But we are not DVC members, and for a cash-paying occupant, the price reflects the quality of these great accommodations.  What is a mouse-loving, financially-challenged NDM to do?

I am into my 87^th hour of watching Disney image bombardment.  At this juncture my depression is growing as my lust is building and my hope is fading.  And then, just like Pinocchio in the depth of Monstro the Whale’s abdominal cavity, the solution comes to me.  Salvation is in sight, and it takes the form of ebay.

I run to the computer and eagerly search for DVC accommodations in the world’s largest virtual auction house.  A variety of individuals have DVC arrangements up for auction, but I find I am consistently impressed with the organization and presentation of one seller in particular, “bill.knows.disney”.  So I contact Bill by asking him a question through our ebay accounts.  His answer leads to another question, which—in turn—leads to another question.  He suggests we exchange e-mail addresses and phone numbers.

During our lengthy conversation, Bill and I hit it off.  His profession is to help DVC members rent out DVC points that they are unable to use before expiration.  He loves Disney.  He loves his job.  He loves the people that he helps get to Disney through his job, and his DVC knowledge is vast because he, himself, has been a member since its inception.

I ask Bill a plethora of detailed kitchen questions and explain that I must have the answers due to my children’s medical diet.  In a kind-hearted tone, Bill asks if I wouldn’t mind sharing more specific details of my kids’ condition.  Since my NDM sensibilities make me partial to other Disneyphiles, I am agreeable to divulging this information.  And so, I give Bill a “Minnie” account of the path my family trods.

Blue fairy wands and little pixie wings!  It turns out that Bill has a son with a health condition on the same spectrum as my own precious offspring.  He relays that his wife has been doing research on the diet and treatments that have helped my children.  He sympathizes with our monetary situation.  His family has struggled to finance the medical road for their son.  The fact that DH and I are doing it for three munchkins weighs heavily on his heart.  “We have to get you there,” Bill says with determination.  “We are going to figure this out.  It’s going to happen for you.”  My heart soars because I feel that I have gained an ally in my “Disney Quest.”

We spend the next half hour discussing different scenarios in search of the one that is meant for my family.  Disney’s Old Key West Resort is determined to be the most appropriate accommodation.  Those units are the largest DVC units as well as the least expensive.  Bill also guides me in selecting days of the week and a month with a relatively low rate.  He crafts three different packages to be considered.  And then, in his great generousity, Bill offers each package at a price that I know leaves him with very little profit.

I am stunned by this act of compassion.  It is evident that the Mouse has heard the wishes I have made upon the entire universe of stars.  What else could explain having found this amazing person who is willing to make sacrifices along with me to make this dream come true?

Bill and I end our uplifting conversation.  Within minutes I receive three e-mails, each one detailing the specifics of a package that has been designed over the phone.  There are pages of resort features, amenities, extracurricular activities, room layouts and other particulars.  I swoon as I pour over each and every descriptive detail.  Is this it?  Could it be that the way to Disney has finally opened for me?

In my little Mickey-shaped heart, I hope that one of these packages will fall within the constraints of our budget.  The final litmus test is yet to be passed, though, since DH is the one who knows the boundaries of our minimal funds.  It is entirely possible that my NDM compulsions have finally led us to the solution of our Disney dilemma.  But, ultimately, our fate lies with DH who will determine the final outcome.

*for information about renting Disney Vacation Club points, please contact NDM#1 at ndm1@thedisneydrivenlife.com

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Back in 2004, I organized a Grand Gathering at Walt Disney World  for a family reunion on my father’s side.  Those memories are some of the last great times of my relatively care-free life before “it” happened. 

By the end of that year, our family discovered we had acquired a medical condition and that our youngest daughter was facing the possibility of brain damage.  I was devastated.  As I watched my obsessed Disney lifestyle disintegrate into a chaotic mess of doctor’s appointments, supplement schedules, special diets and medical treatments, I wondered if my dreams of raising a Disney-focused family could survive.  But mostly, I was fraught with fear that my little one would never be able to understand the joy that comes from surrendering to Disney neurosis and leading a Disney Driven Life.  The prospect of this was a crushing notion that I was not ready to consider. 

Almost all the best times of my life have taken place at WDW.  Being a native Floridian, I was practically weaned there.  Childhood milestones, school trips, youth group events, choir performances, even spontaneous trips with friends that involved secretly sneaking away for the day without my parents’ knowledge . . . it didn’t matter what the occasion.  All roads led to Disney.  This coupled with the incessant Disney media machine that provided films, soundtracks, entire Saturday mornings of cartoons, and the highly addictive New Mickey Mouse Club (with Damon Pampolina) was a spell-binding combination for me.  So from a young age I developed specific dreams that made WDW the centerpiece of my very bright future, and I wanted nothing less for my three precious mouseketeers. 

We’ve traveled a very hard road since then and come a very long way.  All of our children have seen a vast improvement in their health, and by adhering to their medical diet, most of their physical and neurological issues are kept at bay.  But while a degree of our health has returned, our finances have not.  Being consumed by medical expenses, I watched our savings disappear long ago.  This is one of the factors that have kept our family from vacationing for many years. 

But this year, DH (Dear Husband) and I will mark our 10th anniversary.  I am stunned when I acknowledge it.  Ten full years have passed since we “tied the knot” and spent our first week of marriage coming and going from a water-view room at Disney’s Dixie Landings Resort.  That was a memorable week!  It was my first time visiting all the theme parks in one trip.  It was my first time going to Disney’s Blizzard Beach.  It was my first time staying on property in a bonafide Disney hotel.  And, having entered into the sacred institution of marriage, it was my first time having . . . . Yes, WDW is a magical location for “first times.” 

Now I am approaching a decade of marriage, and I can’t bear the thought of WDW being absent from this major milestone.  In fact, I can sense my neurosis get turned up a notch in response to this horrifying idea.  It may be the very thing to put me over the edge and cause a complete mental breakdown. 

DH struggles to see my impending crisis.  He lived a quiet childhood in a small town that is tucked away in the Shenandoah Valley.  His parents had no interest in cute animated characters or their home base in Orlando, so DH spent all of his impressionable years void of much Disney exposure.  I may never understand why Child Protective Services didn’t feel this was cause for concern.  But I suppose the warm, loving and stable familial relationships that existed were barely enough to keep this agency from knocking on their door. 

Nevertheless, DH has always carried “baggage” as a result of his deprived youth.  It has handicapped him in terms of Disney devotion, and it has frequently prevented him from seeing the importance of a Disney Driven Life.  I have endeavored, over the years, to fill this void of his by taking him to WDW during our courtship, honeymoon and initial years of parenthood, filling our time at home with intellectual conversation on Disney subjects.  Admittedly, this has—indeed—assisted his recovery from his Disney-depraved condition and even inspired brief, infrequent displays of enthusiasm for Walt’s creation.  But he still has a long way to go before my therapy sessions will release him into a neurotic-about-Disney state-of-mind. 

As DH considers my plea for a Disney celebration, he shakes his head.  There are an incredible amount of circumstances to overcome.  First, the rigid supplement schedule and complicated medical diet that my children are on makes it almost impossible to leave them in the care of others.  Secondly, we would have to secure a place with a fully equipped kitchen since the children would be coming and their diet requires all of their meals to be made from scratch.  Thirdly, we would have to secure a place on Disney property because meal preparations are lengthy and the need to return to our kitchen every few hours eliminates the viability of a commute.  And lastly, our budget cannot withstand such a plan. 

I grab my own hair in frustration.  This cannot be happening!  As I squint my eyes and wrinkle my forehead, I feel a headache coming on.  I will surely become terminally ill if I cannot bring this about.  There must be a way! THERE MUST BE A WAY!  I mentally pull myself back from the brink of the despairing abyss that is about to overtake me.  “There must be a way,” I manage to calmly tell DH.  “Well, I can’t find it,” he remarks, “but if you want to figure it out, ‘be our guest.’”  DH gets a smug look on his face.  He is pleased to have used the Beauty and the Beast mantra so cleverly in his verbal challenge. 

I stand in shock at his snide remark.  Did he actually just question my ability to solve this Mickey dilemma?  How dare he even consider that insurmountable obstacles can stop a NDM from getting to WDW when she finally makes up her mind to go!  He will gravely regret the day that he underestimated the vacation realization skills of a NDM.  I am going to make him eat crow (or at least a chocolate Mickey bar) when we find ourselves in Orlando a few months from now. 

For the moment, there is nothing else to be said.  There is only work to be done.  I pull up my sleeves, pull back my hair and slightly tip my Mickey Mouse ears beanie forward in a way that signifies I mean business.  “Move out of my way,” I roughly assert as I push DH out of my path.  “I have a date with the internet tonight,” I inform.  There is a Disney task to be managed, and I fully intend to manage it.

*for recomendations concerning Disney travel information contact NDM#1 at ndm1@thedisneydrivenlife.com

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