Category Archives: True Confessions of a Neurotic Disney Mom

NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON’T

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Monday, March 29, 2010

“Did you see what’s in the bag?” Traci asks me excitedly as soon as I rejoin my fellow NDMs and children in the refreshment half of the Hospitality Suite.  “No,” I confess, “I just got mine.”  Jackie gushes, “Oh my gosh! Just wait until you see what is inside.  It is unbelievable!” Jen agrees that the contents are amazing, and she begins to talk at an accelerated pace.

I’m all a flutter. Just like the urges of a little kid on Christmas morning, I want to immediately tear into my swag bag.  But one NDK is telling me he has to go to the bathroom.  Another is clinging to my leg while I’m trying to act as a barrier between my third and the tempting refreshments she is forbidden to have due to special dietary needs.  This is not the time nor place to delve into my tote full of goodies.  I must find a place of comfort . . . a place of quiet . . . a place where I can give my new treasures the attention of which they are worthy.

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REAL, LIVE NEUROTIC DISNEY MOMS

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Monday, March 8, 2010

The mention of my name and tap from behind startles me a little bit.  Mychicagomommy and MomRN are still chatting next to me, and I hadn’t realized anyone else was standing behind me.  Shocked, I slowly turn to face the one that uttered my name.

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CONFESSIONS OF A DISNEY GEEK DAD

by Stuart S. (NDD#47) | Published: Monday, February 1, 2010

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Just the other day I came home from work feeling a little troubled. You see, I just spent another eight busy hours at work without any time to think or talk about Disney. So, as I pulled my car into my garage and turned off the engine I decided to sit there and contemplate the situation. There I was alone in my car, in the garage, in the dark when suddenly a light bulb went on. It was my wife turning the garage light on wondering what I was doing sitting alone in my car, in the garage, in the dark.

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PRINCESS OR FROG?

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Saturday, December 26, 2009

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It has come to this.  DD5 must stop sucking her thumb.  Our dentist informed me at the last appointment that her nasty habit has begun to change the shape of her mouth.  As a result, her tongue protrudes from behind her teeth in a serpentine manner so that she can pronounce her words.

I have approached this problem from many different angles — positive reinforcement, reverse psychology, displays of disapproval for non-compliance, praise for compliance, empty threats, and bribery.  All have failed, and I am discouraged as my options diminish.  Nevertheless, I persist in my belief that there must be something to capture DD5’s heart and persuade her to give up her unbecoming ways.

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CONFESSIONS OF NDD#40

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Sunday, November 1, 2009

NDD#40 aka Marc L. submitted his confession in a very creative way, and I just had to share it with everyone.  He also generously offerred to help any other NDPs who wished to submit confessions of an audio or visual nature by organizing, editing and producing their clips for them.  If you like this idea but are overwhelmed because of the unfamilar territory of handling audio, video and photographs online, please contact Marc for help (marcmantoo@gmail.com).  He will walk you through the process, step-by-step, to help you record and mail him the things he needs to put together your own personal confession for posting on the DDL blog.  I hope that many of you will take him up on his incredible offer.

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MOM’S PANEL MANIA-part 3

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Tuesday, October 13, 2009
screamMOM’S PANEL MANIA-part 3 

“We would like to congratulate you on making it to the next phase of the selection process for the 2010 Walt Disney World® Moms Panel!”
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MOM’S PANEL MANIA-part 2

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Tuesday, October 13, 2009
failureMOM’S PANEL MANIA-part 2
“We’re sorry, but we cannot validate your login against our database of approved applicants.  Thank you once again for your time and interest in this exciting program.”  The words seem to almost glare at me as I look at my computer screen with wide eyes.
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MOM’S PANEL MANIA-part 1

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Tuesday, October 13, 2009
anxious_3MOM’S PANEL MANIA

“Will today be just like every other day of the past week?” I ask myself while I assemble the day’s breakfast.  The endless waiting is starting to wear me down.  Based on the pattern of past years, it is certain that the first cuts for Disney’s 2010 Mom’s Panel will be made known at any moment.
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SURVIVAL OF THE MOST NEUROTIC

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Thursday, September 10, 2009

chess_pion

SURVIVAL OF THE MOST NEUROTIC

 

There are some days when being a family member of a Neurotic Disney Person (NDP) is all about survival.  This is especially true when the individual is a parent and the primary caretaker.  The reason is because when important Disney events take place, the individual’s neurosis consumes the mind temporarily and often interferes with the person’s capacity to function in routine daily activities. Today would be one of those days.

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BIRDS, BEES, AND HONEYTREES

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Wednesday, June 10, 2009
bee_groomingBIRDS, BEES, AND HONEYTREES 
 
Yesterday was our first day back home from our Walt Disney World vacation, but I am already calling Disney Vacation Club’s Member Services to plan the next trip.  Most years our family only makes one trip to our mecca in Orlando, but this year is different.  DD9 is wrapping up her first decade of life and is approaching an age where she will need to hear “the talk.” 
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BOARDWALK BLUNDERS

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Monday, September 3, 2007
different_is_greatBOARDWALK BLUNDERS
 
The mission is this: Get out the door with my family and arrive at Disney’s Boardwalk Area looking absolutely fabulous as I stroll in leisure. The challenge is this: Grammy has “gifted” me with two abhorrent, knock-off, Disney t-shirts that she bought in a thrift store and expects me to wear one. The strategy is this: Appear so busy that I don’t have time to change (allowing me to remain in my very cute, grey, tailored, Mickey Mouse ringer tee that I am already in).
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CLOTHES THAT DON’T MAKE THE MAN

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Monday, September 3, 2007

shame

CLOTHES THAT DON’T MAKE THE MAN

 The introduction to the twins has been a little rough.  Angel, my precocious niece, has developed a way to look down her nose at people who aren’t “acceptable” even if they stand three and a half feet above her.  Unfortunately, I have discovered that I am amongst the “unacceptable.”  This would not normally be so disheartening considering that we only just met, but DH—who is drastically less interested in procuring the affections of munchkin snobs—has immediately secured a place in her clique.

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THE TRAVELING CIRCUS

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Monday, September 3, 2007

THE TRAVELING CIRCUS 

When I was a young girl, Christmas mornings always started out awkwardly.Right after waking up, the first order of business each year was to empty our stockings of its contents.In the homes of my friends this was a highly anticipated event because they could look forward to finding things like cassette tapes, candy, and other really cool items.In my family, however, this was not the case.

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THE ILLUSION OF UTOPIA

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Sunday, June 3, 2007

THE ILLUSION OF UTOPIA

Stepping inside the two-bedroom unit at Disney’s Old Key West Resort instantly cures my stair-induced depression.  After the entryway, I step into a large open area.  Windows are in abundance, allowing the sun to brighten the room with natural lighting.  I survey the space and note that it showcases a great kitchen, a large living room and an eating area for meals. 

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OUR KEY WEST KINGDOM

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Sunday, June 3, 2007

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OUR KEY WEST KINDGOM

As we pull into our parking space, I look upon some of the most inviting condos I have ever laid eyes on.  Surrounded by tropical palm trees and lush shrubbery, three stories of pastel-painted units sit behind a section of white picket fence and a pleasant bench area.  I can hardly wait to find out which unit is ours.
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DVC WANNA-BE

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Sunday, June 3, 2007

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DVC WANNA-BE
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THE ZENITH OF OLD KEY WEST

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Sunday, June 3, 2007

key-west-palmsTHE ZENITH OF OLD KEY WEST

“Disney’s Best Kept Secret” reached my ear back in 1997.  I was on my Walt Disney World honeymoon, strolling hand-in-hand with DH through the landscape of Downtown Disney, when an attractive kiosk caught my attention.  The sign attached to the kiosk promised to reveal a carefully protected Disney confidence if I would only approach the kiosk-keeper who smiled pleasantly beside the booth.

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CRUEL AND UNUSUAL

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Sunday, June 3, 2007

chains

CRUEL AND UNUSUAL

 

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LIVING THE NIGHTMARE

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Sunday, June 3, 2007

road-blur

LIVING THE NIGHTMARE

For a week and a half I have succeeded in keeping our check-in day a secret from my little Disney investigators.  It was not easy, but I cleverly avoided pointed questions from them by appearing momentarily preoccupied and unable to answer.  Surprisingly, Grammy did not become an obstacle either.  She did not make any attempts to foil my plans by revealing our arrival date to my mouseketeers, and—as far as I know—she did not discuss the trip at all with them.  This made it quite easy to pack and prepare for our vacation under the guise of “visiting Pop-Pop and B-Mom”. 

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TWIDDLING THUMBS

by JL Knopp (NDM#1) | @jlknopp1 | Published: Wednesday, May 30, 2007

boredom-1

TWIDDLING THUMBS ON THE WAY TO MEET TWEEDLE-DUM

With all the necessary preparations complete, the week before a Disney trip can be rather torturous.  A NDM finds she has already done everything that can be done beforehand to ensure vacation perfection, and there is nothing left except waiting for the remaining time to pass.  This psychotic crawling of time can make a NDM madder than a hatter.

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