As a working mom, I often feel guilty about not staying home with my boys or being there when they get off the bus. I miss being the parent to take them to after-school practices, or in Reagan’s case, therapies. As hard as it is, I know that I am doing what I have to do to provide for my family. I’m blessed with a good job and a great boss who lets me have the time I need to go to their school functions, doctor’s appointments, and yes – Disney World!
But guilt has often found me trying to make up for not always being there, and I find myself giving them material things or overdoing the simple things. For example, I plan over-the-top birthday parties for them – you know the kind – where you take care of every minute detail and elaborate decorations, only to see them having more fun playing tag. Or buying them an awesome Hot Wheels track with loops, bells, and whistles, only to see them pulling the wrapping paper tube out of the trash and using it for a tunnel. (By the way, cardboard tubes also make cool swords that make a great sound without the pain when you whack your opponent.)
However, I’ve learned that just playing with them and giving them my undivided attention is all they really want from me. They are super happy spending a Saturday at the park and ending the day snuggled on the sofa watching a movie. For me this means that I don’t turn on my computer, and I leave my cell phone in my purse. No emails, no calls, no tweets, no texts. In fact, most of my friends will tell you that my cell phone often dies on the weekends because I forget to charge the battery. But this simpler way of life has relieved me of a lot of stress, and allowed me to focus more on my boys who are growing up way too fast, for they won’t always think their Mom is the coolest person in the world.
Warning: This next paragraph is not for the faint of heart neurotic Disney fanatics.
I’ve also learned to apply this philosophy to our trips to Disney World and not over-plan every minute. For example, we were in Orlando during the Christmas break visiting family, and I knew that I had to be in Disney World on January 1, 2011 to start off the new year right, but I had no specific plan. I asked my six year old, Jake (who is Disney-crazy which makes me so proud), which park he wanted to visit. He chose Disney’s Hollywood Studios because he wanted to see the Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show. So I packed up my two boys, and the three of us headed over to the Studios. We didn’t get there right at park opening. We had no Advanced Dining Reservations, and we didn’t have an action plan. Scary – I know!
I let my boys lead the way all day. Whatever they wanted to do, we headed in that direction, and when we finished with an attraction, we checked the Times Guide to see what was happening next. If we made it, great. If not, we did something else. I didn’t get to ride Rock-n-Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith which is my favorite attraction in the park – but I was okay with that. We didn’t even try to get seated at a table service restaurant; we ate whatever was convenient when we got hungry.
On that particular visit I looked for the Bare Necessities, as I now do in my everyday life. And at the end of that day, as I was sitting with both of my boys in my lap watching Fantasmic!, I realized that we’d had the perfect Disney day.
Contributed by: Allison Valdes (NDM#367) Allison is a DDL Parenting Blogger and proud member of the Walt Disney World Moms Panel. Visit the Walt Disney World Moms Panel for help planning your Magical Trip. She is not a Disney employee. The postings on this site are her own and do not necessarily represent Disney’s positions or opinions.
When you first meet Allison, there are a few things that become quickly apparent: she is devoted to God, her family and friends, and is a total Disney FANATIC! Her parents took her to the Magic Kingdom the first year it opened and she immediately fell in love with that very special place. Years later, she graduated from the University of Georgia, eventually moved to Atlanta, and accepted a position as a paralegal where she is still employed today. She and her husband have two amazing sons who are both “growing up Disney”. Her love of Disney and her gift of spreading pixie dust landed her on the Walt Disney World Moms Panel. Always counting her blessings, she loves sharing her experiences of having a son with Cerebral Palsy, in part to assist other families with special needs children as they plan a trip to the Most Magical Place on Earth.